Logo

Headline Smasher

Real news remixed into fake news.
Sign Up
Sign In
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Explore Smash
Leaderboard Random
Sign Up
Sign In

... And I Shit My Pants Off Quickly Because They Actually "Try" It Matters

1 vote
Vote
Tweet
Share

discovered by ferrihydrite
2015-03-17

2015-03-17

Smashed From These Stories

  • Read
    Smashes
    DMX 'I Got a Big Ass D**k' ... And I Like to Show It
    TMZ TMZ
  • Read
    Smashes
    I Can Get My Pants off Quickly Because They are Loose-Fitting and I am Not Wearing Shoes
    McSweeny's McSweeny's
  • Read
    Smashes
    These Men Don’t Think Childbirth Is THAT Bad. You’ll Laugh So Hard When They Actually "Try" It
    Distractify Distractify
  • Read
    Smashes
    My Name Is Jake and I Shit My Pants During A College Class This Week
    BroBible BroBible
  • Read
    Smashes
    It Matters That the Nets Went 4-0 Against the Heat in the Regular Season
    FiveThirtyEight FiveThirtyEight

Smash from these news sources


Follow @HeadlineSmasher on Twitter

Get the best smashes all up in your social business.

Built by Wil Gieseler as a weird side project thing.

Follow me on Twitter at @wilgieseler if that's your jam.

Random Smash

Make a Suggestion

Report a Bug

View Source or Contribute on GitHub


Original headlines are copyrighted by their respective owners. This is a parody of news headlines.
© 2025 Wil Gieseler


Sign Up

No personal information required.

Existing users sign in

Why do I need an account? That is stupid and dumb!

You don't need an account to use the generator or browse around, but if you make one you can:

  • Save headlines from the generator
  • Vote on headlines
  • Earn sweet, sweet karma

We tried to do it without accounts for a while, but a few people kept cheating and hacking and being rude.

It's completely free and we don't ask for any personal information so we can't spam you.


I Already Have An Account