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35,975 smashes / 59,347 upvotes / smashed from 151,961 real headlines
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Haunting Photograph Turns Earth Into Middle Earth to Prevent 100 Million Girls From Having a Future in Legal Limbo io9 New York Times Upworthy
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This Asshole Is What I Am: A Precrastinator Jezebel New York Times
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Books of the Sith io9 New York Times
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Christie Reverses Course, Allows Nurse to Self-Quarantine at Maine Home for Mayor De Blasio, No Easing Into Work After Break Gawker Giant Bomb New York Times
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Apple Plans Smartwatch and More: Latest Updates on Malaysian Plane Crash of Love at Hospital Dies While Serving 6-Year Sentence Fox News Huffington Post New York Times
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5 Animals Taking a Break for Labor Day 22 BuzzFeed CollegeHumor New York Times
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The 6 Other Creatures Lurking in Every Ballpark CollegeHumor New York Times
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Theater Review: Ira Glass Stars in "Wish I Was Here" New York Times
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The San Antonio Waterway Kotaku New York Times
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In Wake of Ferguson Protests as Expected, Soul Calibur V Has Been Compromised [UPDATED] Gawker Giant Bomb Huffington Post New York Times
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Riff: How to Use the Dishwasher BuzzFeed New York Times
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News Analysis: Bloomberg Returns to (Most Of) Asia Tomorrow Giant Bomb New York Times
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Sony Threatens to Kick Off New Season BuzzFeed New York Times
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If North Korea Had a Third Baseman Cracked New York Times
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Here Are 5 Clues From the Headlines Business Insider New York Times
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No-Bake Creamy Peanut Butter Pretzel Lobster Tails for Some N.B.A. Role Players, an Unlikely Shot at the Moon's Ash Hole BuzzFeed io9 New York Times ZergNet
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Vera Wang Accused of Luring Men to Strip Women Naked to "Empower" Them Mommyish New York Times The Gloss
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DealBook: Lloyds to Sell Their Babies in Buckets Mommyish New York Times
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Barry Silbert Steps Down as Chief of Walmart's U.S. Division Business Insider New York Times
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Estée Lauder to Weave Pink Ribbons Through the Rings of Saturn io9 New York Times
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All-White Is the Best Fast-Food Chicken Nuggets? New York Times ZergNet
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Netflix Has Revolutionized the TV Watch: Cable Stars Like Bryan Cranston With a BFF Who Not-So-Secretly Wants to Babysit Kids Today Business Insider BuzzFeed Jezebel New York Times Upworthy
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Album: Before Kubrick Was an Inmate for 58 Days at a Science Fiction Pin-Up Art [NSFW] Business Insider io9 New York Times Upworthy
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Motherlode Blog: Don't Make Me Cry. I Was Misinformed: My Mother's Stroke New York Times Upworthy
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A Drug That Restores Hearing in Congress, to Retire io9 New York Times
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The Learning Network: Word of the Actor Behind The Most Interesting People Have a Tense Relationship With Wine The A.V. Club BuzzFeed New York Times Upworthy
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An X-Class Flare Unleashed Right at Earth to Bring Pricier Deals io9 New York Times
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iPad 2 Still Hard to Swallow Daring Fireball Links New York Times
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20 Things Only Type-A People Understand About Mrs. Doubtfire Sequel Is Dead at 62 Impossibly Easy Cheeseburger Pie Business Insider BuzzFeed io9 New York Times ZergNet
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David Muir Succeeds Diane Sawyer, but George Stephanopoulos Is Named Weezer and He's Awesome Portraits BuzzFeed io9 New York Times
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Numero Group to Buy TIME WARNER Cable Finally Reconcile Over HBO Go West The A.V. Club Business Insider New York Times Pitchfork
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20 Last-Minute Thanksgiving Dishes to Save Three Children of Course Early Humans Thought God Created the Modern World Cup BuzzFeed Jezebel New York Times Upworthy ZergNet
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How the NSA Is Probably Not a "PTA Mom" New York Times Pitchfork
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Instead of Murdering You, This Bear Is Trying to Ensure the Fundamental Right to Fashion One Out of Herself BroBible Mommyish New York Times Upworthy
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Alien Caught Carrying Gun With Serial Number Filed Off the 5 Creepiest Stories in 2013 Attack of the Talking Points Cracked Drudge Report Fox News McSweeny's Nature New York Times
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Terror Suspect Begs to Be a "Grave Mistake" BroBible Huffington Post New York Times
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Romney's Uphill Battle for Women in NC Huffington Post New York Times
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The Road to Riches Giant Bomb New York Times
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Halo 4 Laid the Blueprint for Fighting Crises New York Times Polygon
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Ebola Victim's Journey From Liberian War to Your Frequent Flier Miles Huffington Post New York Times